


It gets better

by Tiph



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drama, F/M, Songfic, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:17:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4146072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiph/pseuds/Tiph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Years have gone by. The pain still clutches her heart. It never went away. She is tired, tired of fighting, tired of surviving. She has long forgotten what living means. She smiles, laughs sometimes, but her eyes remain dead." Songfic It gets better by Dotan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It gets better

_This paper peeling off the walls_  
_I see the paint from yesteryear_  
_We try to cover up the past_  
_But tiny secrets still appear_  
_So please don't say it gets better,_  
_It gets better, it gets better every time_  
_I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time._

-

She lets her fingertips brush against the metallic walls. Rust now covers them, rough against ther skin. Her eyes close, she keeps on walking, her feet guiding her through the corridors. Her senses are dull as the memories flood her mind. She doesn't feel the tears that run down her cheeks, she doesn't feel the cold of the night bite through her thin clothes. She doesn't smell the faint smoke coming from outside, she doesn't hear the echo of her footsteps. She doesn't care. A ghost haunting the empty halls of its life.

Years have gone by. The pain still clutches her heart. It never went away. She is tired, tired of fighting, tired of surviving. She has long forgotten what living means. She smiles, laughs sometimes, but her eyes remain dead. She hides. Her face is nothing more than a mask she wears around people. She is strong for them, she is brave for them. It is only thanks to -or maybe because of- them that she keeps on going, that she hasn't already joined him.

-

_The kitchen floor is a checkerboard_  
_We tried to end this game for years_  
_The tiles are cracked, the colour's changed_  
_The battleground is all but cleared_  
_So please don't say it gets better,_  
_It gets better, it gets better every time_  
_I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time._

-

Peace was their dream. She had to make it real without him. She overcame every obstacle thrown in her way.

Bitterness overwhelms her. He left her. He made her go through the immense suffering again. His fault. Her hand balls into a fist. He was her constant just as she was his. But he left her. Alone and lonely.

-

_Caught in the cob webs_  
_Memories linger in these rooms_  
_Under the floorboards_  
_Sweeping the stories we outgrew_

-

She never got the time to say goodbye. She remembers his chest, covered in blood. She remembers his wavering smile, the tremors in his muscles, his hand searching for hers. She remembers taking him in her arms, soothing him away from her world.  
She forgot about friendly arms praying her away from his cold body hours after. She forgot about washing her hands over and over to get the dried blood off. She forgot about going in the forest and sitting by the Eden Tree, alone.

She forgot his face.

She forgot the way his boyish smile made him look years younger. She forgot how his hair looked after a shared night. She forgot the sound of his voice when telling her the names of the constellations.

That what hurt the most. Time made her forget.

-

_It's not a place to call a home_  
_Just a place we've been for years_  
_The garden weeds have overgrown_  
_We've overstayed our welcome here_  
_So please don't say it gets better,_  
_It gets better, it gets better every time_  
_I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time._  
_It gets better, it gets better, it gets better every time._  
_I'm not better, we're not better, even after all this time._

-

Nothing looks the same anymore. Children have grown, elders have passed away. Yet, she stays here, among strangers she has known for years. She his homeless. Home was his arms. Home was her head nested against his chest. Home was the warmth spreading from his body to hers.

It doesn't get better, it gets worse. It gets worse, over time.

**Author's Note:**

> First songfic I've written in a while, I would love to know what you think about it !


End file.
